Laughter is the Best Medicine: Managing Medical Emergencies While Cruising
aka Trick or Treat… aka All’s Well That Ends Well… aka How I Have Dodged Surgery… aka I Must Be Getting Old Because It’s All About Health!
Happy Halloween! Fittingly for the season of tricks and treats, here is how a few unexpected health tricks turned into wellness treats (and dodged surgeries) these past few months.
Funny enough, when I saw this sign in a favorite Corfu shoe shop, I thought nostalgically and lovingly of the beautiful heels I have bought there over the years… and how this summer I have switched to searching for shoes that actually support plantar fasciitis. Who knew I would now own Birkenstock-esque sandals and custom inserts for my sneakers?
When I am in the Med, my daily walking volume goes up exponentially. If I am not wearing proper shoes, I feel the effects of my wandering pretty severely in my right foot. It was a bit of a bummer, but looking back now, those seem like the golden days of summer.
Fast forward to a sunny Saturday September afternoon during a Barcelona turn-around day. After exploring all day, while talking to Dirk, I realized I had floaters in my left eye. Having watched folks go through a detached retina, the ensuing surgery, and the long recovery, I was freaked out.
I went straight to Medical onboard, which starts at a cool $175 for a doctor visit (they are very clear about minimum charges right from the get-go). It was determined that the equipment onboard was not sufficient to rule out a retinal tear or detachment, so the medical team went to work arranging a shoreside appointment. There was nothing available for the next day in Marseille as it was a Sunday, but by Monday I was able to see an eye specialist at a hospital in Pisa.
Because of the possibility of needing immediate surgery, I had to pack all my belongings in case I was medically disembarked. My doomsday mind had me lying face-down recovering for a week in an Italian hotel, followed by an eight-week flight ban trying to figure out where to go—train to England? Transatlantic cruise to the States? Fortunately, the specialist determined it was simply a sign of getting older (the first time I was genuinely happy to hear that diagnosis!) and advised a follow-up once back stateside. I felt like I was in wonderful hands throughout the whole ordeal, from our shipboard medical staff to the arranged transport and the Italian doctor.
Fast forward 10 days to another beautiful, sunny afternoon—this time in Trieste, Italy. I had been wanting to visit Miramare Castle, as I’ve been researching it for a potential new port presentation.
The castle was built by Archduke Ferdinand Maximilian of Habsburg and his wife, Charlotte of Belgium (Carlota). When Maximilian accepted the crown of Mexico and was subsequently executed by firing squad there in 1867, Charlotte suffered a severe mental breakdown, descending into lifelong seclusion and madness—with the property’s small castelletto serving as her quarters. Supposedly, she placed a curse on the castle: misfortune and violent death would follow anyone who stayed overnight within its walls. Among others, Archduke Franz Ferdinand stayed at Miramare shortly before his assassination in Sarajevo in 1914, and Maximilian’s sister-in-law, Empress Sissi (Elisabeth of Austria—who also kept a home in Corfu!), was assassinated in Switzerland.
Apart from ship-sponsored shore excursions, you can reach Miramare Castle via train, bus, or ferry. My plan was to ferry over to see the castle from the water approach, then take the train back. I thoroughly enjoyed touring the main castle, and since I had a little time before my entry window for the Castelletto and historical kitchens, I wandered down toward the dock.
Unfortunately, worn stone paths are rarely even stone paths. I missed a dip, lost my footing, and went straight down. A lovely German couple rushed over to make sure I was okay. Deciding discretion was the better part of valor, I skipped the Castelletto and headed back toward the ship as fast as my ankle could manage. Not quite the curse of Miramare Castle, but enough of a disruptor to my plans.
Miramare Castle from the dock view My ankles and the uneven stone work
Over the last 15 years cruising, I have sprained an ankle a time or two—once in Skagway, once in Fort Lauderdale, and once on my very last day as Cruise Director (falling off the World Stage right between Ask the Captain and Final Bingo, just hours before my contract ended). Because of that background, I didn’t go to Medical; I figured it wasn’t my first rodeo. (Though now I am a little alarmed at the pattern here… hmm.)
So, I DIYed the recovery. We had freezer blocks in our stateroom fridge, so I wrapped those around my ankle, pulled on my compression socks, kept my leg elevated, popped Tylenol, and minimized my walking as much as possible.
Fast forward to getting home and having the ankle evaluated by a podiatrist… which led to an MRI to rule out torn tendons, ligaments, and potential surgery. The good news: no full tears! The bad news: a "hairline" fracture was a bit more significant than a hairline. So now I am navigating life in the boot—which is actually pretty awesome for support—and awaiting my next follow-up.
Oh yes, and somewhere in the middle of all this chaos, two moles on my face started bleeding. I didn't recall scratching them, so I scheduled a dermatologist visit to be safe. They were biopsied, followed by a tense 10-day wait to see if I needed—you guessed it—more surgery. Fortunately, both came back benign: all clear!
Navigating Wellness: The Check-In
This entire post has hovered around wellness (or at least managing medical emergencies while cruising!). Here are a few key takeaways:
Travel Insurance is Essential: I always have and always will carry travel insurance to cover unexpected medical costs. This past trip I used Tin Leg. While it required a bit of back-and-forth documentation to confirm everything, my claim for onboard medical and eye specialist in Pisa was processed and reimbursed promptly once approved.
Know When to Seek Care: I really should have gone to Medical for the ankle on day one. Hey ho—lesson re-learned!
Accept Assistance When Needed: I requested airport wheelchair assistance across all my connecting hubs: Istanbul, Amsterdam, Dulles, BWI, Detroit, and San Francisco. Each airport has its own distinct rhythm and process, but I was consistently well looked after. I am deeply grateful to the staff who handle wheelchair mobility services—it is challenging work.
I noticed that several of the wheelchair assistants had a fantastic sense of humor, which was a great reminder to try my best to keep my chin up and find the humor wherever possible. Laughter really can be the best medicine!
On that note, I thought I’d share a few "treasures" I spotted in the Plaka in Athens before all these medical adventures unfolded. I am never surprised, but always thoroughly amused, by the sheer volume of tacky or “WHY?” souvenirs out there.
Here are my top three Athenian souvenirs:
Third Place: A literal can of "Greek Air." I didn't know it was that fresh?!
Second Place: Neon-hued busts of ancient Greek athletes and philosophers. Can't decide in which room of my home one of these beauties would best compliment my decorating style.
First Place: A photo frame depicting various Kama Sutra positions… complete with the default stock photo of a shiny, happy family inside. Does this imply cause and effect?
Keep smiling!
Bon Voyage & Bon Appétit!
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